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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?